Sry I called you an 8
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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