You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
