I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
