the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
