I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Can i not drive my cunt home
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Randomize
