Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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