Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
