You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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