Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
