Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
