Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
