Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
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Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
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So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
we should paint friendship bongs
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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