so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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