TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
