Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
