Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
