I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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