just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize