$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
