Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
