She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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