I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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