break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Panties = found
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