i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
