last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
