your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
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Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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