So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
