Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
