i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
