I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
