I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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