I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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