She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
