yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
