"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
