Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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