The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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