I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
