I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
