I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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