your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Come see our sink grown plant.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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