D3 body, D1 cock
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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