There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
