I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
