i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
