I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
