Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
