There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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