Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
