I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
