So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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