Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
