i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
