I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
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The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
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Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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