Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm at about main and main street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize