I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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