Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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