HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
