My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
