I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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