Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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