I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
