We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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