Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
3pm strippers are depressing
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
