I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
