so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
