she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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