Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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