Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
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I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
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Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
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